I would like some health insurance, please

My health insurance through work ran out on Halloween. Before and since then, I have found myself plagued by phantom symptoms, sympathy pains, feigned medical maladies and a cavity that apparently “went away” after a day. Or at least after I forgot about it.

Being legitimately ill this past week has not helped this paranoia. The other night I dreamed my appendix burst. It can happen at any time you guys! Last night, I dreamed I gashed my leg open from thigh to ankle in a freak ice skating accident. Slightly less likely, maybe, but as far as I can tell these health related fears are only getting worse.

I am NOT going ice skating for anyone until I have a job. Goodness.

The other very realistic medical issue I am facing is one of my hearing aids crapping out. But lucky for me, those have never been covered by insurance anyway.