Surprisingly Okay

Despite this being a short week, it’s felt so much longer, yet with no time to blog. I’ve been busy enjoying my first Chicago summer and all that has come with it, be it the Taste of Chicago, food trucks, fireworks or not shivering uncontrollably while waiting for a bus after an eight-hour shift in retail. It’s the little things.

Now on to something completely different: I may be taking a Facebook haitus for a few days. In theory. We’ll see how long I last before curiosity gets the best of me.

The person I was with from age 18 until nearly 24 is marrying someone else tomorrow, and all our old friends will be there to see it. The inevitable Facebook photos will follow, and while I’m really happy for him and glad he found someone, I suspect it’s all going to be a little strange to take in at once.

That said, it should probably feel weirder to me than it does; but I’m okay. I’ve known since before I moved that this would happen — he proposed days before I left — and now it is. I haven’t talked to him in months, a realization that today astonishes me and yet seems perfectly reasonable at the same time.

We are both so much better off now. He knows it, I know it, we’re all well aware. We made a good run of it for a while there, coming off like a normal couple who appeared to have normal couple plans. Now he really is a part of that, and better off for it.

There’s little to say about it, other than I’m happy for him and pleased with how our lives have progressed in the last 16 months. Not so much the first couple — those sucked. But the rest… they really made all the difference.

I have a couple song choices to share for this moment. They’re both kind of about being selfish and wildly stubborn, but also accepting.

“I Was Once A Loyal Lover,” Death Cab For Cutie

All my friends married each other, both my high school ones and my friends from college. They are all way more mature than I am and managed to grow up to be adults somehow. They have responsibilities and children, some of them have mortgages. I’m resigned to stay the same.

“Good Life,” Francis Dunnery

I found this song after we broke up and it terrified me, and that was before I even knew he’d met someone else. But honestly, I know even if I never find someone, I’ll never regret not dragging him down with me. What I’ve done with my life since then is far better then whatever resentments I would have subjected him to. He deserves better.

Congrats, and I wish you the best.

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