It’s been a busy few weeks. I started freelancing for a couple local neighborhood papers covering a couple high schools and a general education beat, and my own site has been keeping me busy. Thanks to those of you who provided helpful Kickstarter advice and suggestions; I hope to start my campaign soon.
Although it’s not exactly about to get easier, because I am having my second ear surgery in less than three weeks.
My doctor told me a few weeks ago I’m ready for it, and I kind of have to do it now if I can, because I’ve already hit my insurance deductible. If I got it after January, I’d be buried under another heap of hospital bills.
I am leery of this experience for a lot of reasons. It’s strange because I am the one who picked a two-part surgery, and while I don’t regret it considering the alternative, I don’t think I thought enough about what it was going to mean. But then again, there was no way for me to know how hard it was going to be the first time around.
I had a psuedo-panic attack at the hospital in the minutes before I was anesthetized, and that strong, emotional reaction may have been at the root of the depressed state I was in for the days afterward. Obviously, I wasn’t going to be thrilled about much post-surgery, but there was something weirdly traumatic going on there. I am doing all that I can to avoid the same thing happening this time.
Part of the anxiety I had last time was at least partially due to not knowing which surgery I was going to wake up from, and not knowing whether or not I’d be able to hear after. Luckily, the chances of a hard decision having to be made while I’m under this time are much lower, so I hope that makes a big difference in how I feel.
The recovery was much more difficult than I had expected, so I am not sure what I can do this time around to change that. I do know that this time I will just have to accept that I can’t wear my hearing aid for a very, very long time because every time I wore it last time I set my recovery back a few steps. It’s not fair, but it’s still true. And at least if I wake up unable to taste anything this time I’ll know what happened.
My dad is coming up for my surgery this time, which I think will be better for both of us, since he can’t have felt great getting updates from afar from my roommate, and my roommate felt a little uncomfortable being in that position when my post-surgery recovery took on some complications. Luckily, she said she will stop by the hospital to spend a little time with my dad and Kevin while they wait. Even though I will be unconscious, that makes me happy.
I have to take a week off of work, which is actually more stressful than it should be. It’s been insanely busy there for weeks now, and I hate to put out my teammates like I will for that long. I guess I’ll need to buy them lunch or something when I get back. Kevin is taking Nov. 9, the day of my surgery, off and then working from home for a week to hang out with me. Dad will be here until Sunday or Monday. Last time, Kevin and I just watched guilty pleasure movies with the captions on and, well, I don’t know what else. I’ll have to ask him.
I can’t believe it’s less than three weeks from now, ughhh.