Last week, I conducted half a dozen interviews for a 2,500-word article, took a terrifying exam as step one of the interview process for a new job, locked myself out of my own apartment (again), and moved from one office to another.
I am stressed out.
I have no idea where my time has gone, and yet I have no 60625 blog posts or completed work-outs at the gym/bad ass obliques to show for it. Those are things I would love to be doing and accomplishing, but have absolutely no time for.
In recent weeks and months I have been spending countless hours applying for jobs, working, networking, volunteering, and sleeping when necessary. If only I could cut out sleeping. Since I can’t, something else has to go.
Tomorrow morning I am joining a gym three blocks from my house, having lost my free gym access at my old office. God help me if I cannot manage to make it to a gym that close to my own home twice a week. Minimum. I’m hoping adding extra gym visits to my days will help steer me away from the edge of the nervous breakdown I feel is quickly approaching.
I’ve been at my company for over two years. I love my co-workers; I love that we have a flexible schedule so I can write for 60625 as long as I still get my work done; I actually really like my manager.
I do not love living paycheck-to-paycheck or making excuses to skip plans with friends because I can’t afford to go out. I do not love being 27 and broke.
I do not like the position mine has morphed into over time. I was made for more than data entry, even if it means I get to listen to NPR all day while I work.
After months of applying for newspaper and public relations jobs, I was asked to take a test for one I applied for in January. I took it last week, and I was told on my way out that they’d call me Monday or Tuesday if they wanted to interview me.
It is now Tuesday night. I am tearing my hair out because now I have to go back to the drawing board and find MORE jobs to apply for and maybe if I’m lucky, three months from now, one of them will look up from their stack of resumes and give me an interview.
I am going crazy, slowly but surely. I suspect not writing here anymore has contributed to my level of stress over time, which is unfortunate, considering how little time I have to write for myself these days.
I need to learn to start saying ‘no’ to people, and maybe while I’m at it, start going to bed at a decent hour so I can get more done early in the morning. May 1 is bringing change, or at least it had better.