2013 Year-In-Review

I’ve done a year-in-review every year since 2008, with the exception of 2012*, which I am afraid I was too fed up with to reflect on at the time. 2013 was a little harder to write because, despite it being one of my 2013 New Year’s resolutions, I did NOT blog more in 2013 as hoped. Here’s looking at 2014. Meanwhile, this is a re-cap of what happened to me in the last 12 months (partially according to Google Calendar).

*Updated edit: Looks like I did write one for 2012.

January: Rang in 2013 with friends at Allie and Adam’s apartment. Hosted a fun black and white party. Took a knife skills class with Brianne and neither of us wound up needing stitches. Wrote some good pieces for my news site.

February: Began ASL classes, finally checking a long-wished-for item off my bucket list AND list of 2013 New Year’s resolutions. Met Dave Eggers at my local book store. Saw Sarah’s photography on display at a gallery in Wicker Park.

March: Turned 27 and threw myself a 20s-themed party. Wrote a fun story about beer bars and breweries in my neighborhood.

April: Signed up to read at a live lit event (also on list of New Year’s resolutions!) but name was not drawn. Giving myself brownie points for trying, while hoping it doesn’t take me another year to work up the guts to try again. Took a road trip with Sarah to Columbus, where she participated in a comic expo.

May: Joined Weight Watchers with a friend in effort to lose 15-20 lbs (a third New Year’s resolution), which I slowwwwwly accomplished (technically 14.8 lbs lost). Also joined a gym by my house. Teamed up with Sarah to create Beer Bingo. Attended Stacey’s wedding in Cincinnati Memorial Day weekend.

June: Celebrated two years with Kevin by taking a weekend trip to Milwaukee. Held my first yard sale and made like 30 bucks. Enjoyed the luxury of having an intern for 60625.

July: Was a bridesmaid in Eileen’s gorgeous wedding in Ohio. Celebrated Kevin’s 27th birthday at Long Room with friends. Visited Doug and Chandra in Colorado and toured some breweries.

August: Got really sad over the collapse of Patch and my would-be dream job. Kinda mentally checked out for a bit. Watched a lot of Netflix and “Breaking Bad.”

September: Held a fall party with a photo booth. Attended a press-only preview of the first Chicago Jeni’s Splendid Creams and got lots of free samples. Celebrated 60625’s first anniversary. Got really sick for an entire week as the temperatures dropped (but lost seven pounds!).

October: Took in a cat named Mango as a favor to a friend of a friend. Sheer joy ensued. Attended another Ohio wedding and shared Rachel and Ryan’s beautiful day. Got a short visit with my cousin, who stopped in Chicago on a cross-country tour stop with his band. Did a shoot at Vavoom Pinups with Stef and Sarah. Celebrated my third Chicagoversary.

November: Got really sick for second time in six weeks — not cool, fall. My dad turned 60. Celebrated Thanksgiving among friends days after making a really sad decision. Slowly let friends and family know.

December: Baked so much cake and made so much homemade candy. Enjoyed Thanksgiving Part Two with Christina and her boyfriend. Made the most of my time with Kevin. Spent a week-and-a-half in Ohio for the holidays, working remotely for part of it. Got lots of pictures of my nieces.

Rang in 2014 with friends at Allie and Adam’s apartment. Happy new year, all.

Rounding out 2013

Tomorrow is the last day of 2013, and while 2013 was better than last year (so long, ear surgeries and recoveries!), I am more than ready to start 2014 and work on putting my life back together, whatever that may look like. I hope New Year’s Eve finds you well. I am appreciative of the fact it could find me far worse.

So far the Amicable Winter Break-Up is going as well as can be expected: We survived the holidays and we don’t want to kill each other even a little bit. He is moving out in a couple of weeks (date TBD) and I am trying to wrap my brain around the logistics of this.

It was great to see so many loving friends and family over Christmas. I was sorry to miss seeing Kevin’s family but they sent along Christmas gifts for me anyway, which was surprising and touching.

I talked a little about what’s been happening with me to those of you I was lucky enough to see. The bottom line is, I am sad right now, I am fully aware I am about to be much, much sadder, and I have to be okay with that. It’s tempting to just say, “This is too hard, let’s keep trying to make this work,” but that wouldn’t be right. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I think about how things could have been different: If only he could have been more this, less that, etc., but that’s not who he is. Maybe people can change, but I don’t want to be in the business of changing them. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to shape someone into someone he’s not, and it’s not fair to either person involved.

Aside from all this going on, I had a great Christmas with my family, including my two little nieces. I don’t get to spend as much time with them as I like, so having three solid days was awesome. My step-mom made sure I felt comfortable in her home, where my dad recently moved. Plus, I got to see some folks from high school for the first time in 2013. It was nice to take a break from everything happening in Chicago and just enjoy catching up with people I’ve missed.

The Friday News Dump

They say if you want to break a news story quietly, do it on a Friday afternoon.

Many of you already know what’s up, but for those of you who don’t, I wanted to write something about what’s been going on with me and Kevin. After a lot of thought, we’ve decided not to stay together. I wrote a while back about when we started going to couples counseling, and I talked about wanting to know if we were going to get married or not. We’re not, but that’s actually okay; we weren’t really supposed to get married in the first place. I think we would have been happy for a while, but the reality is, we’re not a great fit, and that hard truth would have come out eventually.

We’re a pretty GOOD fit, and we are absolutely best friends and each other’s biggest supporters, but that’s not enough. It took a long time to accept that and see it for what it really meant. We want really different things for our futures and we don’t see eye-to-eye on some life stuff that’s unfortunately too big to overlook. It sucks, and it hurts, but this has to happen now or we are just going to hold each other back.

We plan on staying friends. Probably all of you have said that at one point or another, I know. I have never had a break-up after which I wanted to still hang out with my ex (high school doesn’t count, right?) but this is what I want now, and it’s important to me. Kevin didn’t do anything wrong, we’re not mad at each other, and we like being around each other. I think we both know we won’t be able to spend time together the way we do now, living together, but we still want to go to pub trivia, our friend’s wine group, and parties with our mutual friends together. Just not, together. It’s confusing.

He’s moving out next month. I’ll be in Ohio for about a week and a half, and we’ll figure logistics out more once we both get back from the holidays. We’re not “officially” broken up yet, but that’s coming. It’s going to be kind of a lousy winter.

We wanted to make sure the word was out before Christmas since we’ll be seeing friends and family and we don’t want to deal with having to explain why the other didn’t come along for the holidays, etc. We liked each other’s families, and we get along great with each other’s friends, so just remember there’s no reason to be mad at either of us on anyone’s behalf. We’re just really sad and trying to make the most of our time together.

So, it’s sad news, but we know it could be worse. We’re looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones for Christmas. See you soon.