They say if you want to break a news story quietly, do it on a Friday afternoon.
Many of you already know what’s up, but for those of you who don’t, I wanted to write something about what’s been going on with me and Kevin. After a lot of thought, we’ve decided not to stay together. I wrote a while back about when we started going to couples counseling, and I talked about wanting to know if we were going to get married or not. We’re not, but that’s actually okay; we weren’t really supposed to get married in the first place. I think we would have been happy for a while, but the reality is, we’re not a great fit, and that hard truth would have come out eventually.
We’re a pretty GOOD fit, and we are absolutely best friends and each other’s biggest supporters, but that’s not enough. It took a long time to accept that and see it for what it really meant. We want really different things for our futures and we don’t see eye-to-eye on some life stuff that’s unfortunately too big to overlook. It sucks, and it hurts, but this has to happen now or we are just going to hold each other back.
We plan on staying friends. Probably all of you have said that at one point or another, I know. I have never had a break-up after which I wanted to still hang out with my ex (high school doesn’t count, right?) but this is what I want now, and it’s important to me. Kevin didn’t do anything wrong, we’re not mad at each other, and we like being around each other. I think we both know we won’t be able to spend time together the way we do now, living together, but we still want to go to pub trivia, our friend’s wine group, and parties with our mutual friends together. Just not, together. It’s confusing.
He’s moving out next month. I’ll be in Ohio for about a week and a half, and we’ll figure logistics out more once we both get back from the holidays. We’re not “officially” broken up yet, but that’s coming. It’s going to be kind of a lousy winter.
We wanted to make sure the word was out before Christmas since we’ll be seeing friends and family and we don’t want to deal with having to explain why the other didn’t come along for the holidays, etc. We liked each other’s families, and we get along great with each other’s friends, so just remember there’s no reason to be mad at either of us on anyone’s behalf. We’re just really sad and trying to make the most of our time together.
So, it’s sad news, but we know it could be worse. We’re looking forward to being surrounded by loved ones for Christmas. See you soon.