Tomorrow is the last day of 2013, and while 2013 was better than last year (so long, ear surgeries and recoveries!), I am more than ready to start 2014 and work on putting my life back together, whatever that may look like. I hope New Year’s Eve finds you well. I am appreciative of the fact it could find me far worse.
So far the Amicable Winter Break-Up is going as well as can be expected: We survived the holidays and we don’t want to kill each other even a little bit. He is moving out in a couple of weeks (date TBD) and I am trying to wrap my brain around the logistics of this.
It was great to see so many loving friends and family over Christmas. I was sorry to miss seeing Kevin’s family but they sent along Christmas gifts for me anyway, which was surprising and touching.
I talked a little about what’s been happening with me to those of you I was lucky enough to see. The bottom line is, I am sad right now, I am fully aware I am about to be much, much sadder, and I have to be okay with that. It’s tempting to just say, “This is too hard, let’s keep trying to make this work,” but that wouldn’t be right. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I think about how things could have been different: If only he could have been more this, less that, etc., but that’s not who he is. Maybe people can change, but I don’t want to be in the business of changing them. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to shape someone into someone he’s not, and it’s not fair to either person involved.
Aside from all this going on, I had a great Christmas with my family, including my two little nieces. I don’t get to spend as much time with them as I like, so having three solid days was awesome. My step-mom made sure I felt comfortable in her home, where my dad recently moved. Plus, I got to see some folks from high school for the first time in 2013. It was nice to take a break from everything happening in Chicago and just enjoy catching up with people I’ve missed.